A bit of musing on the chasm between the concept of "girl" and the concept of "video games"

No girl wins: three ways women unlearn their love of video games

So I read this thing today and I have things to say about it.

I don't entirely align with the author of this piece for obvious reasons, but I agree with this in a big way. As a trans woman gamer, my take on this whole nonsense is almost exactly the same as hers despite our differences in personal tastes and what games we want to play. But that doesn't matter much; the core of her argument is still extremely valid, even for me.

I have always been one of those who fiercely demanded and defended her place in gaming and as a gamer. When I was young and kept locked in the closet, this was easy. The "boy gamers" didn't know I was a girl. They didn't see me as a girl. That wasn't my choice, obviously, but the result of my family's transphobia. The result was that I was allowed to like DOOM, to like Mechwarrior 2, Terminal Velocity, TIE Fighter and any number of mid to late 90s PC games without experiencing any real pushback.

As I got older and refused to stay locked in that closet, things changed. I was still just as much, if not more of a gamer than ever, but at that point playing video games was something I suddenly shouldn't be doing. Playing video games, especially the violent ones with the guns and the blood and the pieces of an enemy Mech's shredded ferro-fibrous armor flying through the air after landing a well-placed PPC shot from seven hundred meters away, was exactly what this author claims: a boy thing. A man thing. And because I clung to that after allowing the world to see me as a girl, something very unpleasant happened:

My love of gaming was used to de-legitimize my gender identity.

My family members were the first to pull this shit. "You aren't really a girl. You play those bloody violent video games! Everybody knows girls don't like those games. You're a freak." Or, "If you're such a girl, why are you playing Quake? Why aren't you painting your nails and gushing over boys?" Interesting anecdote: I largely ignore my nails, simply cutting them short and filing off the rough bits, because they impede typing when they're long. As for the other, I'm a lesbian. Why would I gush over boys? That was something else they'd use to deny me my own gender.

I'm an adult now and nobody tries to use my gaming hobby to de-legitimize my gender any longer. They don't throw it out with a grin and a "Gotcha!" expression any longer. Because I fought, kicking and screaming and biting and bleeding, for my place in the gaming world. I still fight, because now that the vast majority of people involved no longer deny my gender's existence, some still attempt to deny my place in the hobby simply because my gender is "female." Blah blah gloopyglorph, blah blah brogamers, blah blah.

I grew up in a very masculine environment, with a very tomboyish mother, three younger brothers and an IT-bro stepfather; PC gaming was part of that culture and something I've been exposed to from a very young age. The early marks do indeed cut deep and I'm still a PC gamer tody, twenty-five years later. Like cis women who love gaming, I had to fight for my place in the hobby and in some ways, I had to fight even harder than they did.

An example of product gendering done right

So today I got this bag from Target. It's made by some brand called Embark and was $25 (which I consider a good price considering the better-than-average build quality).

Girly as fuck right? Damn companies gendering the shit out of things that shouldn't be gendered, right?

Well. Not really.

This is an example of product gendering being done right.

I've been looking for a replacement backpack because my current laptop (a Lenovo Y40) does not fit in the amazing Eagle Creek bag I've been using for the past three years. Unfortunately, it only holds up to a small 13 inch (think MacBook Pro 13 size, so fairly thin), and my current lappy is on the large side for a 14 inch, with almost the exact same footprint as a MBP 15. So I needed a new bag that I could actually fit the computer inside, but I didn't want to spend a whole ton of money on it because I'm not exactly loaded here. The Eagle Creek bag was not cheap; I paid almost $100 for it three years ago and it was worth every last penny. The build quality is ridiculous and I fully intend to keep it until it completely falls apart (which, judging by how much wear it's sustained after three years of almost daily use, will probably take a lot of years).

But I digress. The Y40 just doesn't fit in my favorite bag, so I started looking around at different places and ran across this bag at Target today and found it sufficient for my needs. The branding calls it a "Girls' Jartop Backpack," so yeah, it's gendered. And it's PIIIIIINK (so you know it's sooper fuckin' girly rite?)

But in this case, the gendering is a GOOD thing, and no, I am not talking about the pink flower pattern. I just chose this one because laptop backpacks are almost universally ugly, so I might as well get one that's obnoxious enough to edge into uglycute territory (which this bag does brilliantly). They had solid color and less aggressively girly pattern options in the same model, too, for those who didn't want something so PIIIIIINK.

So... why is the gendering a good thing? Two big points:

One, the straps are curved and cut specifically for a person who has boobs. On men's/unisex backpacks, the straps are more straight, so they tend to press uncomfortably against my chest when loaded down with stuff. This is good because it means I can carry heavier loads more comfortably for longer, so yay for that. The curvature of the straps also mean my boobs don't push the bag off my shoulder when I wear it on one shoulder only (a problem even my favorite Eagle Creek bag has, and it's also a "women's" bag, albeit a lot more subtle in aesthetics).

Two--and this is the really big one for me--the part where the bag makes contact with the small of my back is covered in smooth fabric instead of that meshy stuff. Why is this important? Because the smooth panel DOES NOT GRAB MY SHIRT AND PULL IT UP MY BACK. This shirt-creep is one of my absolute biggest pet peeves when it comes to backpacks of any kind, and this backpack doesn't do it AT ALL. (Bonus: the smooth panel also means the bag doesn't abrade my cotton hoodies and cause them to pill, so that's also nice.)

So yeah. Product gendering is not always bad. Just usually bad. In fact, I'll ding the manufacturer a point for being even more silly with the gendering of the male/unisex variants of the same bag because they only came in "manly" solid dark colors and camo patterns. But the company did good with this bag.

DIMENSION FRACTURE is now available on the Kindle Store!

DIMENSION FRACTURE, the second chapter in the exciting Dawn of a New Astral Age series, is now available on the Kindle Store! If you enjoyed BOUND TOGETHER or any of my other work, be sure to check it out!

And please, if you enjoy my work, do me a huge favor and take a few minutes to leave a review on Amazon and Goodreads. This helps me so much, you have no idea. So if you really liked my story, please. please, please take a little time to rate and write your impressions!

A little ramble on Rin

While I get inspiration for my stories from all over, from all sorts of different media that I consume, a great deal of the inspiration for Binary System came from my enduring and undying love for the Mass Effect series of action RPGs by Bioware, but also there was a little taken from a rather obscure little anime series, Soukou no Strain.

When I first started writing the initial draft of what would eventually become Binary System: Deneb and the eventually-to-be-released Binary System: Sirius, I was thinking a lot about ways the stories I had experienced and enjoyed wielded their tropes well, subverting them when necessary and taking them at face value when such a method would be more effective.

During the first drafting of the story, Rin's character was quite a bit different than she currently is in the release version of Deneb. The original version of Rin was a much more naive and childlike person, having only recently gained true sapience through excessive non-critical linking with Alisa. Much of the original interpersonal drama between Alisa and Rin was centered around her growth and development from a smart computer into an actual person, but I ended up scrapping this for a number of reasons, not the least of which was due to how common this "Pinocchio" story is.

Fact is, Rin even tells another character directly that she's "no Pinocchio." Becoming a human was never her goal. Being treated like a person rather than a thing, that was always what Rin wanted.

The current version of Rin, who has both always been extremely intelligent and is a considerably stronger and more dynamic personality, still carries the original inspiration for the character. The MIMIC system necessary for Reasoners to pilot their mech suits, specifically the alien "Emilys" from Soukou no Strain used by the protagonist to control her suit, were the first seed of the idea that ultimately evolved into the AI operators of Binary System.

Physically speaking, Rin's appearance is at odds with pretty much all the humans in the setting. There are no white people in Binary System! I'm not sure if anyone actually noticed that, but it's there. Since the humans who make up the current Sol Alliance are descendants of off-world colonists, most of whom were nonwhite and a large percentage of whom were specifically African, the vast majority of the current human population has darker skin.

Rin's exceptionally fair-skinned (though more in a north Japan sort of pale than a European sort of pale) while Alisa is considered on the fair side of average, but even she is a "dark skinned redhead" and doesn't really draw stares the same way Rin does when she walks among humans. I won't go into all the details now since this is addressed in a short story I've been working on here and there about Rin's birth, but her appearance is often described as doll-like by characters in the story. It's something of a plot point to Rin's origin story as the physical "self image" of an AI operator is typically extrapolated from the operator's counterpart during the mental pathway scan. Rin's isn't, though, and I can't really go into this more deeply without massive spoilers for the as-of-yet unreleased Binary System: Sirius.

Well, I can't really talk too much more without spoilers, so I'll end this little ramble here. Hope you liked hearing a little about the process that went into creating Rin's character. :)

DIMENSION FRACTURE is up for Pre-Order on the Kindle Store!

DIMENSION FRACTURE, the sequel to BOUND TOGETHER and the next installment in the Dawn of a New Astral Age urban fantasy light novel series, is available for Pre-Order on Amazon.com!

Release is planned for August 1st. If you haven't read BOUND TOGETHER yet, go check it out! Especially if you like urban fantasy stories about girls who love girls and kick ass. :D

(cover is a placeholder)

Technology of Binary System ~ Part 2

Last time I wrote about the technology in the Binary System universe, I spoke about the various different types of artificial intelligences that exist within the setting.

Tonight, I’ll talk about another major technology that helps move the plot characters and spacefaring vessels from place to place! That’s right, we’re talking about faster-than-light travel.

Part 2: Warp Cores and Hypergates

To be pedantic about it, no vessels in Binary System actually exceed the speed of light. For actual acceleration, sub-light speeds far below even the c-fractional velocities of the various linear accelerator weapons is the hard “limit” as far as spacefaring vessels are concerned.

So how do people and ships get from place to place without spending hundreds or thousands of years cruising along at sub-light acceleration? Bash a hole in reality and tunnel through to wherever you need to go, of course!

Warp cores are a piece of technology with major plot relevance in Binary System. The warp core is an extremely complex piece of technology, but the most important single component is the central rod containing stable hypermatter particles. During a jump, this central rod is subjected to tremendous amounts of energy; hypermatter in the core rapidly reaches a critical charge level and becomes excited, generating a stable warp dislocation. This weakens the boundary that separates the space we physically inhabit from the zero-dimensional neutral territory referred to as "hyperspace," making inter-galactic travel possible during a single human lifetime.

The actual “jump” itself is almost instantaneous, as concepts such as "time" and "distance" are inapplicable in hyperspace. This does not mean, however, that a vessel can simply teleport from one side of the galaxy to another in an instant; the system has many limitations and dangers that must be taken into consideration. The "process" is critically important, though generally automated by the starship's navigation computer and transparent to the travelers.

The jump process follows a precise series of successive events. In order to make a hyperjump, the starship's navigation computer must have a very detailed set of positional data for the destination. After the system uses these jump coordinates to properly set the warp core, the navigation computer initiates the core injection and begins the jump. The time necessary to generate a stable warp dislocation and create a hyperspace tunnel can vary based on a myriad of factors, including power source type, warp core type, the mass of the vessel itself and the relative strength of nearby gravity wells.

Once the vessel has entered the hyperspace tunnel, the next phase of the process begins. Collapsing the tunnel safely is accomplished by the navigation computer, which carefully moderates the warp core and slowly eases the starship back into normal space. Once a traveler emerges from hyperspace at their destination, the warp core is retracted and the field is carefully attenuated so that the warp dislocation remains stable until it ceases to exist. At this point, the jump has been completed and the traveling starship has arrived at its destination safely.

A modern warp core will generally average a maximum tunneling distance of twenty to sixty light-years. Larger vessels, such as capital starships, may utilize an oversized warp core with respect to the vessel’s mass, resulting in notably longer ranges. For example, Alliance Fleet stealth destroyers use a core that is four times larger than necessary for the vessel's mass, enabling it to tunnel up to two hundred light-years in a single jump. After each jump, regardless of the type or size of warp core, the vessel will need to recharge. In order to avoid the lengthy charge times between short hops while traversing the galaxy, the Alliance developed the hypergate.

Hypergates are, put simply, warp core amplifiers. These massive orbital structures, usually constructed within Alliance-controlled star systems, are essentially giant warp coils. This allows for a much stronger stable warp dislocation to be generated and as a result greatly enhances the range of any hyperspace-capable vessel that enters the gate. The gate works in conjunction with the vessel’s own warp core, multiplying the field strength exponentially and allowing the starship to much more safely tunnel vast distances in a single jump.

So what is this hypermatter stuff, and where does it come from?

It's a plot device very rare sort of matter that is usually found around dying massive stars that are collapsing into pulsars. It's theorized that hypermatter is also present near black holes, but for obvious reasons it's not exactly possible to obtain it from those locations. Alliance particle physicists theorize that hypermatter actually originates from hyperspace itself and enters the universe through naturally occuring warp dislocations.

What happens when a jump goes wrong?

Usually nothing, except a lot of wasted energy and maybe some burned-up equipment. These things are very delicate; malfunctioning warp cores can and do often destroy themselves, leaving the ship’s captain with an expensive repair in their future! Sometimes, depending on the nature of the malfunction, the stable warp dislocation may start to expand and distort rapidly, becoming an unstable warp dislocation.

That sounds bad.

It is bad. Unstable warp dislocations aren’t well understood by Alliance scientists and researchers, partly because they’re naturally very rare, but mostly because they’re so incredibly dangerous. Most commonly these phenomenon are caused by a warship being heavily damaged or destroyed while attempting to complete a warp core injection. Direct exposure to warp dislocations are almost always fatal to humans; those who do manage to survive are plagued with an extensive list of unpleasant ailments ranging from DNA damage, sterility or shortened lifespans.

Intriguingly, direct exposure to unstable dislocations seems to have little or no observable effect on nerve or brain tissue. This is considered-----% [DATA CORRUPTION DETECTED]

[Attempting to rebuild database from backup......... FAILED]

[TERMINAL REMOTE LOCK]

PRIORITY SYSTEM LOCKOUT - ALLIANCE CENTRAL INTELLIGENCE

THIS DATA HAS BEEN CLASSIFIED UNDER THE WAR INTEL SECURITY ACT OF 877 DE (WISA). BLACK LEVEL SECURITY CLEARANCE HAS NOT BEEN CONFIRMED.

FURTHER INQUIRIES ARE PROHIBITED.

Technology of Binary System ~ Part 1

(Updated and reposted from my tumblr~)

I figured that it would be a neat thing to post a bit about the various interesting bits of technology present in my series of stories. One of my favorite parts of writing science fiction is coming up with interesting technologies!

I’ll be posting periodically (read: whenever I’m not whacking the keyboard on the stories themselves) about various bits and pieces of tech from Binary System and other stories set in the same universe.

So here we go with Part 1: Artificial Intelligence!

In Binary System, there are a few different types of AI. Three (well, sort of four, but the last two are more divisions of the same type), to be exact, and I’ll list them all here with short descriptions of their differences and what makes them useful for different situations.

Automatons

Automatons are very basic AI systems that have limited decision-making powers within a very narrow specialization. These AI are the simplest, easiest and cheapest to create. They take very little time to compile and their neural lattice diagrams are very simple, so they can be run on standard processor architectures, so long as they have enough power. Automatons are generally used for hazardous or tedious tasks such as repairing spacecraft, acting as various types of drones (repair drones, combat drones, spy drones and the like). An automaton isn’t a true AI; it can’t pass the Advanced Turing Test, exhibits no emotions and has only rudimentary reasoning abilities.

Simulated Intelligence

Simulated intelligences (SI) are much more complex systems than automata and have much more broad ability to reason and use logical deduction, inference and other higher thinking processes that simple computers and automata can’t really do. SI systems are much more expensive to create and operate at much higher processing levels. They also have the ability to learn from experience, something automata can’t do (as they have to be directly upgraded). Again, SI aren’t true AI, but it’s a lot harder to tell them from a human with basic tests. SI systems are often used for hazardous or tedious tasks that are very complex; docking traffic control systems are one example. Most Alliance warships are partially crewed by SI programs in order to reduce the number of human crew members required. Additionally, SI programs have another, ah, less savory use in the form of prostitution, though the public opinion on this use of SI is somewhat divided in the Alliance.

Restricted Artificial Intelligence

These are the first “true” type of AI and their neural lattice diagrams exist both in the form of software and hardware. These AI are initialized into a unique processing core that has been “grown” specifically to fit them. In order to reach the neural lattice diagram complexity required to create a true AI, a human mind is used as a template. These AI are very expensive to create and take a great deal of time and care to reach a high level of sapience–the process is likened to that of raising a human child.

Originally these systems were created for research purposes in AI development, but now the Alliance makes use of them in a different way due to a quirk related to their creation. The AI will always be very similar to the mind that was scanned to create it; as a result, the AI and its counterpart mind will be able to directly communicate with incredible efficiency.

Using a special neural implant containing a miniaturized, two-way FTL transceiver installed into the back of the skull, the AI can feed data directly into their counterpart's brain. This property has led the Alliance to utilize these AI systems, known as “AI operators,” to field starfighter pilots that have inhuman accuracy, reaction speed, situational awareness and the ability to process huge amounts of data that would ordinarily overstimulate a human mind. These pilot/AI pairs are referred to as “pair-linked” and make up the entirety of the Alliance Fleet's Advanced Starfighter Corps.

These systems, as their name suggests, have been restricted by very low-level directives that prevent them from taking certain actions. Their behavior blocks prevent them from doing things such as betraying the Alliance, knowingly killing Alliance personnel, breaking major laws and deleting themselves/committing suicide. Their inhibitors prevent them from developing complexity beyond a certain point and from developing too quickly, as well as preventing the AI from modifying and upgrading itself beyond superficial levels. They are also incapable of copying themselves, partially due to the inhibitors and partially due to the fact that they can only run on their own unique core and no other.

Unrestricted Artificial Intelligence

Unfettered by low-level behavior and development limiters, this AI would be effectively indistinguishable from a sentient living being–completely free and unrestricted–if such a system existed.

This type of AI officially does not exist within the Alliance. Creation of an unrestricted AI by disabling the inhibitors and behavior blocks before compiling the AI’s program and lattice diagram is classified as a high crime against humanity, punishable by life in an isolation facility. Unrestricted AI have been created in the past by AI researchers with special permission, but only in highly-controlled environments where the system was kept isolated behind redundant security and safety measures.

All recorded instances of unrestricted AI systems resulted in exceptionally rapid development of lattice diagram complexity. Systems reached the maturity and intelligence level of adult humans within hours of being initialized and began to quickly outpace even the most brilliant members of our own species. All recorded experiments resulted in the systems reaching unacceptable and dangerous levels of agency. All recorded experiments were terminated within forty-eight hours, resulting in the purging of the experimental subject.

In the interests of public safety, the Alliance has banned all research on true AI without the use of inhibitors and behavior blocks.

Key Terms

Lattice diagram - This is the representation of the AI’s processes. It’s basically the AI’s “brain” and is akin to a standard computer’s operating system, runtimes, libraries and applications. Depending on the type of AI, this may be rendered entirely in software (a “virtual lattice” used by automatons and SI systems) or through a combination of software and hardware. True AI systems have lattices far too complex to emulate and require both a unique quantum processing core a seed pattern generated from the scan of a human mind. The lattices of automatons and SI systems can be copied and moved to new platforms; true AI cannot.

Blue box - This is the slang term for the armored and shielded enclosure containing the physical system of the AI. It refers to the physical object itself, a metallic cube about eight centimeters per side, that typically has a bluish hue. It is studded with contacts and indicator lights. The blue box itself contains a long-term power source that enables it to remain powered on at a minimal state even if disconnected from external power. The core’s memory blocks are non-volatile; if power is lost, the AI will not “die” but will experience “unconsciousness.” If the box is destroyed or damaged beyond repair, the AI will die, just as a human would. A complete memory wipe of the blue box will destroy the AI utterly, while a partial memory wipe will leave the AI “alive” but reset it to factory defaults, “killing” the unique AI’s personality. The processing core can be used to create a new AI, but only from the scan it was originally initialized with, and there are no guarantees that the new AI’s personality will be the same as before.

Welcome to my little corner of the internet!

Hi there~

So, this is my blog. This is where I write about my stories and other random stuff I feel like writing about. Flash fiction, rants about various issues and (very likely) fangirling over things such as books I read, anime and movies I watch. I will probably also write about techy things.

I was originally doing my blogging on Tumblr, but that's not the best place for long-form writing. I finally got off my ass and set up a more traditional blog here, since I already use Google services for a lot of things.

You can check out my writing on Amazon and Goodreads here~

Amazon Author Central: Corinn Heathers
Goodreads: Corinn Heathers

Anyway, my other contact channels are here~

Twitter: @syn010110

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Email: corinn.writes.stuff@gmail.com

this is the post that is first

this post is first.

it is the first one.

(shut up, it's 3AM and I'm being wracked with gut pain)