A bit of musing on the chasm between the concept of "girl" and the concept of "video games"

No girl wins: three ways women unlearn their love of video games

So I read this thing today and I have things to say about it.

I don't entirely align with the author of this piece for obvious reasons, but I agree with this in a big way. As a trans woman gamer, my take on this whole nonsense is almost exactly the same as hers despite our differences in personal tastes and what games we want to play. But that doesn't matter much; the core of her argument is still extremely valid, even for me.

I have always been one of those who fiercely demanded and defended her place in gaming and as a gamer. When I was young and kept locked in the closet, this was easy. The "boy gamers" didn't know I was a girl. They didn't see me as a girl. That wasn't my choice, obviously, but the result of my family's transphobia. The result was that I was allowed to like DOOM, to like Mechwarrior 2, Terminal Velocity, TIE Fighter and any number of mid to late 90s PC games without experiencing any real pushback.

As I got older and refused to stay locked in that closet, things changed. I was still just as much, if not more of a gamer than ever, but at that point playing video games was something I suddenly shouldn't be doing. Playing video games, especially the violent ones with the guns and the blood and the pieces of an enemy Mech's shredded ferro-fibrous armor flying through the air after landing a well-placed PPC shot from seven hundred meters away, was exactly what this author claims: a boy thing. A man thing. And because I clung to that after allowing the world to see me as a girl, something very unpleasant happened:

My love of gaming was used to de-legitimize my gender identity.

My family members were the first to pull this shit. "You aren't really a girl. You play those bloody violent video games! Everybody knows girls don't like those games. You're a freak." Or, "If you're such a girl, why are you playing Quake? Why aren't you painting your nails and gushing over boys?" Interesting anecdote: I largely ignore my nails, simply cutting them short and filing off the rough bits, because they impede typing when they're long. As for the other, I'm a lesbian. Why would I gush over boys? That was something else they'd use to deny me my own gender.

I'm an adult now and nobody tries to use my gaming hobby to de-legitimize my gender any longer. They don't throw it out with a grin and a "Gotcha!" expression any longer. Because I fought, kicking and screaming and biting and bleeding, for my place in the gaming world. I still fight, because now that the vast majority of people involved no longer deny my gender's existence, some still attempt to deny my place in the hobby simply because my gender is "female." Blah blah gloopyglorph, blah blah brogamers, blah blah.

I grew up in a very masculine environment, with a very tomboyish mother, three younger brothers and an IT-bro stepfather; PC gaming was part of that culture and something I've been exposed to from a very young age. The early marks do indeed cut deep and I'm still a PC gamer tody, twenty-five years later. Like cis women who love gaming, I had to fight for my place in the hobby and in some ways, I had to fight even harder than they did.

An example of product gendering done right

So today I got this bag from Target. It's made by some brand called Embark and was $25 (which I consider a good price considering the better-than-average build quality).

Girly as fuck right? Damn companies gendering the shit out of things that shouldn't be gendered, right?

Well. Not really.

This is an example of product gendering being done right.

I've been looking for a replacement backpack because my current laptop (a Lenovo Y40) does not fit in the amazing Eagle Creek bag I've been using for the past three years. Unfortunately, it only holds up to a small 13 inch (think MacBook Pro 13 size, so fairly thin), and my current lappy is on the large side for a 14 inch, with almost the exact same footprint as a MBP 15. So I needed a new bag that I could actually fit the computer inside, but I didn't want to spend a whole ton of money on it because I'm not exactly loaded here. The Eagle Creek bag was not cheap; I paid almost $100 for it three years ago and it was worth every last penny. The build quality is ridiculous and I fully intend to keep it until it completely falls apart (which, judging by how much wear it's sustained after three years of almost daily use, will probably take a lot of years).

But I digress. The Y40 just doesn't fit in my favorite bag, so I started looking around at different places and ran across this bag at Target today and found it sufficient for my needs. The branding calls it a "Girls' Jartop Backpack," so yeah, it's gendered. And it's PIIIIIINK (so you know it's sooper fuckin' girly rite?)

But in this case, the gendering is a GOOD thing, and no, I am not talking about the pink flower pattern. I just chose this one because laptop backpacks are almost universally ugly, so I might as well get one that's obnoxious enough to edge into uglycute territory (which this bag does brilliantly). They had solid color and less aggressively girly pattern options in the same model, too, for those who didn't want something so PIIIIIINK.

So... why is the gendering a good thing? Two big points:

One, the straps are curved and cut specifically for a person who has boobs. On men's/unisex backpacks, the straps are more straight, so they tend to press uncomfortably against my chest when loaded down with stuff. This is good because it means I can carry heavier loads more comfortably for longer, so yay for that. The curvature of the straps also mean my boobs don't push the bag off my shoulder when I wear it on one shoulder only (a problem even my favorite Eagle Creek bag has, and it's also a "women's" bag, albeit a lot more subtle in aesthetics).

Two--and this is the really big one for me--the part where the bag makes contact with the small of my back is covered in smooth fabric instead of that meshy stuff. Why is this important? Because the smooth panel DOES NOT GRAB MY SHIRT AND PULL IT UP MY BACK. This shirt-creep is one of my absolute biggest pet peeves when it comes to backpacks of any kind, and this backpack doesn't do it AT ALL. (Bonus: the smooth panel also means the bag doesn't abrade my cotton hoodies and cause them to pill, so that's also nice.)

So yeah. Product gendering is not always bad. Just usually bad. In fact, I'll ding the manufacturer a point for being even more silly with the gendering of the male/unisex variants of the same bag because they only came in "manly" solid dark colors and camo patterns. But the company did good with this bag.